My husband is someone who knows who he is, but also I believe, knows what real love is. Now I have come to learn that love does not mean simply pleasing someone else, although I also believe that when you are true to yourself (your good, not selfish side), you will please them anyway. We married because we loved who we were, not some assignment of who we were hoping to change each other into. Making the right choice at that time was very important and deserved a lot of time and thought. My husband has at times presented me with red roses and chocolates, but we both know that we no longer have to prove our love to each other with material things. We also are careful not to take each for granted, but that doesn’t necessitate having to demonstrate it on demand. Even though our love aims to be giving, even sometimes with sacrifice, we are allowed to show it spontaneously. This is something that I have also had to learn (and still am learning), to love spontaneity and even if he shows it in ways that I wouldn’t always think of, I trust that it is done with my intersts at heart. Over the years we have come to know what the other likes and therefore can usually show our love in ways that are true to ourselves but also will please them.
So what is real love for me? It is many faceted:
- Quick to forgive
- Willingness to listen and humility to take heed
- Time to stop and talk with an open heart
- Not judging, controlling or manipulating to get my own way
- Acting rather than reacting
- Time to share things together, away from distractions
- Taking stock on a regular basis
- Letting the man be a man and the woman be a woman
- Enjoying each others uniqueness and differences
- Sharing the same values
- Giving a smile each day
These things are so precious to me, that I would choose them any day if it was a choice between them and red roses or chocolates, although a little of these things are also good! I do remember one time before we were married, when he passed a bunch of flowers under my kiosk at the bank counter where I was working! That impressed me!
These qualities are still works in progress, but I like to be reminded of them every now and then, so that when everyone is talking about Valentines Day, I can be glad that I have found my Valentine a long time ago and he found his and we can still celebrate our love every day!
What is real love for you?